Barb's Daily Dose

Giancarlo's Bracelet

This is the bracelet that my 13 year old son made in his jewelry class.  It's a beautiful hammered and twisted steel bracelet that I wear all the time.  I especially love the way the clasp is integrated into the design.

I think he signed up for the class because a friend told him that it was a great way to meet girls, and in any case he was only one of 2 boys in the class, so in that regard, he considered it a big positive.  What surprised him, was how much he loved the class.  After this project they moved to bead work, and I don't mean stringing beads, but blowing their own glass beads.  I'll post those photos next week.

Unplug your Kids from Gaming and Reconnect

 Unlike 20 years ago, these days, kids are more often than not, staring into a screen.  Tweens and teens are texting short and incredibly earth shattering messages or furiously tapping and manipulating a joy stick that’s connected to a animated character that’s running, jumping, problem solving and maybe even saving the universe.

While many of us think that these are harmless pastimes that help entertain your child during their idle moments and maybe helps with their eye-hand coordination and reaction times, too much screen time also carries with it certain risks.

To be sure, most adults today remember their favorite TV shows and certainly spent lots of time inside, yet, today, with the sheer number of available screen choices, more kids of all ages are spending less time outside and more time inside watching other people or characters engaged in life or make-believe.  Fewer and fewer kids are outside playing, using their imaginations to take them to fantastical lands as they play with friends.

Pushing Your Kids & Newton's Law of Motion

"Well, if I don't push him and nag him constantly, he'll never get a decent grade."

"If we didn't insist on those AP classes, then she won't have a chance at getting into a good college and then what?"  If I had a nickel for every time I heard one of these or some variation, I'd be in Hawaii right now sipping a Mai Tai.  Lately this is a common subject among my friends who have kids in high school, who are getting closer to leaving the nest.

I heard about one mom who insists on seeing every one of her daughter's tests. If she sees anything less than an A, then she draws a big red circle around the grade, and posts it on the fridge, saying "You can do better." 

Affordable Birth Control?

For years, I've tried my best to find ways to help patients, especially teens access birth control without breaking the bank. Women with insurance who had to pay $30 to $40 co-pays every month for contraception, while men picking up Viagra and Cialis had no co-pays or only $5.00. Give me a break!  And, there were insurance plans that didn't cover birth control unless it was being used to control heavy periods or for acne.  What? Luckily, many teens have those issues.  Actually, don't get me started.

For women, having access to contraception is integral to their health. Finally congress passed legislation that makes women's health more affordable. Here's a video:

What Is it Like to Treat the Homeless?

Today I was able to interview Dr. Seth Amerman.  Dr. Ammerman  is an inspirational guy who works with homeless and uninsured teens. He has been going out where these kids are through a novel and effective mobile van, which is part of the Lucile Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford.  This outreach is incredibly effective. 

Many of these teens have no options for health care. It's hard to earn their trust and they are notoriously hard to reach. Yet, if they are treated at the Packard Teen Van, more than 70% will come back, because the van comes back to them.

Finding the Information You Need

 

My Daily Dose is about to turn 1!  Yea!

I realized that it might be hard for readers to find the health information on this blog once it's posted. So, I've added categories on the RIGHT SIDE.

If you want to find out let's say about HPV and the Vaccine, just click Teens, or Vaccines, or infections. If you have questions about Pregnancy or Testing or Delivery, they all have their own categories.

Menopause issues?  It's covered in Hot flashes or Hormones.  Thanks for all your support.  If you want me to cover a specific topic, drop me a note. 

Be well

Help, I forgot my Birth Control Pill

If I had a nickel for every time that I heard that!  This is a very scary experience, but don't fear, the answers are right here:

If you forgot 1 pill:  

Take it as soon as you remember, and use a back up method of birth control for 3 days to be safe.  You may notice some breakthrough bleeding or spotting for a few days.

If you forgot 2 pills in a row

Take 2 pills as soon as you can, and 2 more the next day to catch up. Use a back up method of birth control for 3 days to be safe. You may notice some breakthrough bleeding or spotting for a few days.

If you're always forgetting pills

Consider switching to another method of birth control.  Stay tuned, we'll talk about the options in the next few weeks.  There's:

NuvaRing

Mirena

Depo-Provera

Implanon

And my favorite, a girl's best friend, Condoms.

  

Your Menstrual Cycle

The menstrual cycle is my life. I know, it's crazy, but without knowing how it works, it's impossible to do my job.  If you understand this, then you will understand these important issues that most women face at some time in their lives:

• Why the pill works
• What happens when you can't get pregnant
• How you can get pregnant
• What happens in menopause
• What happens with PCOS
• What makes the world go around - sorry, couldn't resist  

The Typical Menstrual Cycle
This is a fast, quick explanation: 

The Typical Menstrual Cycle
This is a fast, quick explanation: 

Teen Girls & Sex

Teaching Teen Girls: 5 Signs A Guy Is Only Interested in Sex 

This is another guest blog, by my favorite teen expert, Vanessa Van Petten. She is the teen author of the parenting book “You’re Grounded!” She writes a parenting blog along with 12 other teen writers from the kid's perspective to help parents. Her work as a young family peacemaker have been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Teen Vogue, Fox 5, CBS 4 and much more! 

How do parents teach their teen daughter that they have to learn whether or not a guy is only interested in sex? It is an important dating lesson, one that teens are learning earlier and earlier. Here are a few tips I like to give teen girls when they start thinking about boys and dating: 

#1 Actions Speak Louder Than Words 

Boys can be smooth talkers. One thing I try to impress upon girls (even on my 23 year-old friends) is that girls read way more into language than boys. Some boys—not all, might stretch the truth if it means they will get to hook-up with you. That is why listening to actions, is almost more important than listening to words. Does he say he cannot wait to see you, but forgets to call? Does he say that he does not care if you hook-up, but then is very physical when you see each other? 

#2 Learn to Read Faces 

Most people actually display most of their emotions on their faces. Teen boys especially are not very good at hiding their true emotions. This can be a great way to see if he is telling the truth and how he really feels. Look at his face the instant you say ‘no’ to doing something you are uncomfortable with. Does he look sad, scared, embarrassed or worried? These are all OK emotions. If he looks angry, resentful, bored or annoyed this is not a good sign. 

#3 How Do His Friends Treat You 

Guys always talk to their guys about sex and you. I find that if you meet his friends and they have heard about you, talk to you and take an interest in you, your guy probably shared his idea that he likes you more than just for sex. If they ignore you, make lewd comments or snicker when you come in, you might want to have a talk with one of his friends, or with your guy for more information on how he thinks about you and your relationship.  

#4 What Does He Remember and Talk About 

If a guy remembers things about what you talk about, he is actually interested in what you have to say, not just what you have to ‘put-out.’ If he seems to take an interest in you and talks about things other than sex, you are probably with a boy who actually cares about you and not just the sex. 

#5 When Do You Interact 

This one can be tricky, because sometimes teen boys can only interact when parents are asleep or in certain time frames. Yet, teen girls need to learn to pay attention to the interaction schedules. Are boys only calling when it is late at night or when they want to get together? Do teen boys want to go to parties with you, but not dates or spend any alone time unless you are hooking up? This can be a sign that they only want a sexual interaction. 

I think these signs are important to talk to your teen daughters about, but also remember to explain to them that teen boys are also just as nervous and might be acting strange or weird because they are uncomfortable. The best policy is always to be as open and honest with your feelings and in your relationships. 

Visit Vanessa's website OnTeensToday.com for more information on teens, dating, sex and everything they are dealing with.  

Teen Girls, Sex & Boys

Girls have more power than they think, they can make men prove they're worthy. So make them jump through a few hoops."

Let me translate that. Girls need to learn how to figure out when boys are lying!

Ok, let me be less harsh, and more clinical.  Girls need to translate the verbal messages that boys often use to coax, coerce, pressure or otherwise manipulate girls into having sex with them. 

The research

Recently 2 researchers from the UK, Dr. Hayter and Dr. Harrison found that there were huge differences in the ways that young men and women talked about sex and that young women need help " to develop the social skills they need to resist pressure from boys..." 

They need to not accept at face value what they might be hearing. They need to ask a few more questions, kick the tires so to speak before deciding if this guy is worthy of their time.

"Well, he said........"  fill in the blank with one of the following:

• He really loved me
• He wanted to spend more time with me
• His girlfriend didn't understand him
• I was special
• He really likes me 
• He had never felt this way before
• He couldn't go out, but we could just hook up

The list goes on and on.  

The next sentence is often, too often. "Then we had sex and he now he's disappeared. He doesn't even text me.  I don't understand, he said that he really liked me."

They say whatever works

I try to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. "Well, in that moment, he probably did love you."  Or "I hate to break it to you, but sometimes men lie to get women to sleep with them."  Really, hard to believe, but it's true. 

Or how about this take on it from a guy:  Yes, he does like you! and Yes, you are special, but girls have to ask a few more questions, and they are: 

• Just how special are you? 
• How long do think he's going to like you?
• How long do you think he'll think you're special?  
• An hour or 2?  
• A day?  Week, month, years?

Not all men do this, but as the comedian Billy Crystal said, "Women need a reason to have sex, Men just need a place."

Sharon Stone also said, "Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake entire relationships."

There are some good guys out there who are interested in you as a person, and there are some who are only interested in sex. I've said this statement to women who are 17 and women who are 47.  

And yes, of course, some women do the same thing, but right now, I'm ranting about men.

Please notice, that I said SOME men. I do not mean to suggest that all men are like this. Likewise, I'm not making any judgments about these men.  There are powerful hormonal influences at work here, and they are universal.  

I'm not cynical, really I'm not 

I like men, I'm married to a man and I have 2 very nice brothers, who are decent guys. But my brothers and a lot of male friends have confirmed this. When I've asked them if men lie to have sex with women, they look at you with raised eyebrows, and say something profound like, "DUH."

So, girls, wake up! Ask a few more questions.  Kick the tires. As one male friend says, "Girls have more power than they think, they can make men prove they're worthy. So make them jump through a few hoops."

• What if you say No? 
• What if you say Maybe later? 
• What if you say Nice try, I'm flattered, but I don't know you well enough
• What if you say not right now? 
• What is he willing to do for you? 
• Is he willing to spend the afternoon helping you babysit your nephew? 
• Is he interested in going out or just hooking up when convenient?  
• What happens when you say maybe later? 
• Is he willing to get tested for STDs before sex?  
• Is he willing to use a condom?  
• Is he willing to......

Hmmm, you get to learn a lot about a person when you make reasonable requests and see how they react. Yes, you are special!

Make sure he's worthy!  

And remember sex is never 100% safe, 100% of the time. STDs and accidental pregnancy are no laughing matters, so protect yourself.