Barb's Daily Dose

How to Care for Someone With Urinary Incontinence

Guest Blog:  Written by Laurie Udesky, Senior Editor of:  Caring.com

How can I talk to my loved one about incontinence? Realize it's normal to feel uncomfortable. There are some discussions between close relatives, especially a parent and child, that many of us would rather avoid.

• Talking to your own children about sex is probably not something many parents can glide through without some discomfort.

• Equally difficult, or perhaps even more so, is broaching the subject of incontinence with the very person who used to change your diapers when you were an infant.

Whether or not the person you're caring for has memory problems or dementia, the topic of incontinence is challenging. "Society has programmed us to view bodily functions as dirty and private, and when you're dealing with a parent, having such a discussion isn't a natural thing to do," says Carol Jones, a family consultant with the Mountain Caregiver Resource Center in Mount Shasta, California.

Avoid denying there's a problem. When talking to adult children who are caregivers, Jones found that they often have such a hard time dealing with incontinence that they pretend it's not happening. "Sometimes the biggest problem is that the caregiver is embarrassed and feels the need to cover up the accidents, even denying that the person is incontinent."

Continue to read the complete post.

Dirty Dozen: 12 Ways Hands-on Caregivers Are Driven Crazy by Their Siblings

Featured Guest Writer - Senior Editor Paula Spencer, of  Caring.com
My mom was an only child, a fact of life she disliked and the reason she gave for having five kids of her own. She finally found a bright side to her solitude in her 70s while looking after her mother, who had Alzheimer's: "At least I don't have anybody to second guess me or argue with me over how I'm doing things."

Let's face it: Siblings have spent a lifetime perfecting the art of bickering and feeling resentful toward one another. So it's little surprise that in the emotionally fraught arena of caregiving for an aging parent or grandparent, "issues" between siblings run hotter than the lava under Kilauea.

Sibling anger and frustration has also been a theme among Caring.com users recently – maybe Mother's Day brought it to the surface.

A lot of misunderstandings occur simply because the non-hands-on brothers and sisters have a hard time fully "getting" what life is like for the day-to-day caregiving sib. Maybe these insights from caregivers can help sibs to course-correct. (I know I'm typing some of these feeling guilty – but aiming to do better by Father's Day)!

Click to read the entire article.

Watching Dad Dodder: How Much to Help (to Prevent a Fall) and How Much to Leave Him Alone?

Guest Writer, Paula Spencer, Senior Editor of Caring.com

For years the only time I thought about accidental falls was whenever that infomercial came on TV with its classic line, "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Now the subject is on my mind every time my Dad gets to his feet. At 87, he moves like a slooooow-motion, shuffle-footed version of his old self. My late mom fell and broke her pelvis the summer before she died; her mother missed a chair and broke her hip at 95, then spent the next (last) four years of her life in a nursing home. I'm terrified Dad will be next.

One in three people over 65 who live outside of assisted care fall each year. That's a lot of falls. And one third of them cause injuries requiring medical treatment.

Some news just out today unfortunately comes too late for my elders, who were in their 80s and 90s by the time I thought to worry about falling. A major review of more than 100 studies confirms that exercise programs – tai chi or other group classes, or those done at home – seem to be the best way to prevent falls among people over 65.

To Read the Complete Article.

How To Help Someone With Depression

By Stephanie Treloga, Senior Editor at Caring.com

Seniors often face stressful situations, including chronic illness, financial problems, and loss of independence. Add that to physical and emotional isolation, and you've got a recipe for depression.

But there's a big difference between situational unhappiness and clinical depression. Feelings of sadness and anger are natural after a catastrophic event like a heart attack or the death of a loved one, but when those feelings linger for months on end and prevent a senior from getting any enjoyment out of life, it's more than a normal reaction to grief.

Here are some practical suggestions for helping someone with depression.

Know The Warning Signs

Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between depression and just a case of the blues. Depression is more than just feeling sad or "down." Depression affects a person's thinking, emotions, behavior, and physical health. A depressed person may feel empty inside, or may no longer enjoy activities she once loved. She may complain of aches and pains that can't be explained or treated. When someone has several of these symptoms for weeks or months, it's likely that she's clinically depressed.

To read the complete article.

Alzheimer's Romance: Why Sandra Day O'Connor Is Right

Guest Blog by Paula Spencer, Senior Editor at Caring.com

Is it possible to be "totally glad" when the love of your life is happily holding hands with someone  else? Yes, retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor told Sunday's New York Times. Her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 1990. Since then at least two different women have become attached to him, she mentioned in an interview about her new kids' website Ourcourts.org.

But what about when the person flaunting this warm new relationship is your parent – can you also sit by feeling "totally glad"? 

Alzheimer's and romance are strange bedfellows, but bedfellows they often are. And I've heard from people who work in the Alzheimer's-care field that adult children often take these new attachments harder than spouses do. I confess I contemplated the weirdness of this reaction myself when, for a time, I wondered if my own dad was growing romantically interested in someone only months after my mom died... (Nothing Happened)

Why would adult children have stronger reactions to their parents' Alzheimer's romances even than spouses? Well…

Continue reading the complete post.

Vitamin D

It seems that every day we're learning just how important Vitamin D is for our bodies. We need at least 15-20 minutes of sun exposure each day to absorb enough light to make this essential vitamin. Unfortunately, even people who live in sunny areas, are so used to using sun screen to help prevent skin cancer and dark spots on the skin, that we're not getting enough Vitamin D.

Normal levels of Vitamin D have been shown to protect against these and many other conditions:

• Memory decline
• Breast cancer
• Colon cancer
• Osteoporosis
• Bone Pain

New recommendations are for people to get between 400-800 IU/day. If you're over 50 ask your health care provider for a blood test for Vitamin D.  As it turns out, many people are seriously deficient and may need mega doses of up to 50,000 IU each week for 6-8 weeks.  

Normal Level

We'd like to see levels of at least 30 ng/ml.  If it's too low, most people will improve within 2 months with supplements.

More House Calls

There’s a new trend in health care providers making more house calls, especially for the elderly and chronically ill. It’s often a great way to assess the person’s entire situation and get to know more about how their diet and their environment impact their health. I used to make house calls as a visiting nurse. This was one of the best ways to understand the complexity of the struggles many families face when caring for a sick parent.

People adapt to many challenges, yet house calls enable us size up a situation quickly and make suggestions to help make daily life easier and safer. There are nurse practitioners and care coordinators who specialize in Gerontology and Alzheimers, who make house calls. To find one, check out Caring.com.

If you need help at home, SitterCity.com is great resource for respectful care in your home.

Dying & Grace

       

Recently I met a woman, Jude, who told me an extraordinary story about her father's death. She is originally from Melbourne, Australia and now lives in the United States. One day, she received a call from her father, saying he had just been diagnosed with liver cancer and could she please come home. He was given about 6 to 8 weeks to live.   

She immediately flew home to help her brother take care of their dad, Ken.  Now, her dad, Ken was a character, he loved horse racing and liked to bet on the races.  In fact, he had been known to place bets for friends a time or two. Jude was, as you can imagine, dealing with many challenges as she cared for her beloved dad and helped him make that final journey.

Alzheimer's

Recently, I was asked by a family member to review an informed consent for a clinical study that has been offered to them for their dad who has mild Alzheimer's. This is such a difficult diagnosis to hear, and also to contemplate, let alone consider treatment options and whether to enroll in a study. 

I found an excellent website, Caring.com that can help with every aspect of Alzheimer's, from understanding 7 ways to help figure out if a loved one has it, to the various medication and non-pharmacologic treatments. There's even support for the caregivers and advice about finding help.

For this family, they had more questions than they had answers, which is often the case. It took me over 30 minutes to read and re-read the literature and the informed consent associated with the study to discern whether their dad might have a chance of benefiting, and I look at these kinds of studies all the time.  It's no wonder the family was confused. 

If you have a family member with Alzheimer's, you'll need all the support and help you can find. I also recommend The Alzheimer's Association, and  if you find any other good resources, please let me know. 

Myths about Urinary Tract Infections

Here are my top 5 myths that I hear all the time about Urinary Tract Infections.

#1 Wiping matters - If only I had wiped myself differently, this wouldn't have happened.  Not true. Studies show that contrary to what your mom told you or you heard way back when, you don't have to wipe front to back or back to front or sideways. It doesn't matter.  

#2 Drink lots of water to flush out the bacteria - Ok, this was a trick.